A New Year Revolution

Yes, you read that correctly. 2017 has arrived and brought with it, once again, the promise of a new start. A chance to wipe the slate clean and recreate a happy new you.



Shop windows are adorned with pictures of salad eating, sportswear clad people utilising all kinds of ungodly exercise equipment. Telling us that we can and more than that, should, starve and sweat our way to being something more desirable.



Adverts for gyms, low fat foods, diet supplements and meal plans all shout the message loud and clear. We need to change. Well I’m saying the only thing we need to change is our attitude towards ourselves.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t try to improve and grow. By all means if we want to tone up or lose weight or whatever, we should do that. We should however do it because we want to and not because January says we should. As far as health fads and weight loss goes, thin doesn’t necessarily mean happy. I’ve been thin and it was one of the most joyless times in my life. That’s not to say I was miserable because I was thin, that had nothing to do with it, but the two don’t go together and losing 2 stone isn’t going to be the magic wand we are programmed to believe it is.

If we have indulged at Christmas and gained a bit of insulation I’m pretty sure it’s going to drop off once we return to our normal routine. We don’t need to join a gym that we will got to for a month and pay for until the end of the year. We don’t need to starve ourselves with grapefruit diets and carrot sticks. Life is short and you’d better believe I’m going to eat cake!

The most unhealthy thing about a January health kick is the way it can make us feel – like we aren’t okay as we are, we aren’t enough. What is that about? We are fine as we are and we need to celebrate what makes us who we are, not try to change that person.
Happiness comes from within so if you want to throw yourself head first into a pursuit, let it be to find what motivates you, what stirs your soul and makes you excited to get up each day. Or to find a place of quiet contentment within you that you can enjoy in each moment of your being.

Let’s embrace our so called imperfections, they are souvenirs from a life well lived and of lessons learned. They are evidence of our happy moments and our battle scars from victories won. Let’s be proud of all we have achieved, however small or insignificant we might feel it is. It’s brought us here to this moment.

What if instead of trying to change who we are we use that energy to look back at how far we have come? Look at everything we have achieved in the last year and try to build on that. Resolve to accept ourselves and love the bits we struggle to love.

I for one will be happy and comfortable in my size 16 clothes and the body that lies beneath them. As for the person that lives inside all that, well I bloody love her too!

Don’t try to change who you are, celebrate it, because you’re amazing.

Happy New Year Everyone, be kind to yourselves.

Enough Is Enough...

It's easy to feel like you aren't enough when you're living with a chaotic mind in a chaotic life.  When you have demands coming at you from every direction and you don't know which one to answer first, it's easy to just listen to the voice that shouts the loudest.  When that voice is your own, shouting that you aren't good enough, it's very difficult to ignore.

As humans it seems to be our nature to undervalue our own efforts and gloss over any success.  When you have anxiety and depression it's more profound than that. You loathe yourself, you feel like a failure all the time, you want to do well but no matter how well you do it isn't enough...you're never enough.

Although I can't speak for others I want to say that when it comes to recovery and the ongoing journey I take with anxiety this is especially true. I'm often guilty of judging myself too harshly in regards to how well I'm doing and it's only when I turn a corner and start to feel better I can accept my so called shortcomings.  This is where I am at the moment and this is why I wanted to write this now, so I can read it later when I need to give myself some advice.

This is it...

YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH.

I'm human, I'm weak and I'm fallible and that's okay.  If we just give ourselves permission to be less than perfect we can start to accept ourselves and love our flaws. We can find a way to live with ourselves in a way that works.

While we need to accept ourselves, we should never stop trying to grow and develop, we just need to be a lot kinder in the way we go about it. We just need to find ways to do things so we can participate in the world without it feeling like a chore or a punishment.

Take me as an example.  I don't like unfamiliar surroundings and I hate having things sprung on me. I need time to plan, to feel a bit in control or else my panic.  It doesn't make me a bad person and it doesn't make me boring.  It's just the way I am. Having a spontaneous husband doesn't make this easy but he is good for me.  He understands when I turn down the sudden suggestion of a night out but equally I am challenged to step out of my comfort zone from time to time.  So now, rather than always saying no, I try to deal with things by putting plans in place to give me back some of the control.  I plan how we're getting there, how we're getting home, how long we're likely to be out and often that's enough for me to go out and have a good time.  But sometimes it's all too much and I have to say no, I can't go out tonight, I'm freaking out...and that's okay.

It doesn't matter how many tries it takes, only that we don't give up.  Life is basically an extended period of trying. Sometimes we succeed, sometimes we learn something and need to try again, sometimes we realise we're going in completely the wrong direction and need to change course and it's all okay.

I think the point I'm trying to make is, if we do what we can do, that's enough. Don't berate yourself, don't judge yourself harshly, don't be your own worst critic.

You did good...
 
   You did what you could...
    
      You did enough...

         You ARE enough.

A Thought For Friday

There is no such thing as just a small cog. Take one away and everything else would grind to a halt or cease to function correctly. No matter how insignificant you might feel, never underestimate the importance of the part you have to play in life. Cogs matter.